msagara: (Default)
Something [livejournal.com profile] comrade_cat said in the comments tickled a thought I frequently have.

Blaming the crappy part of my life on my parents' divorce is so fucking
cliché though, and I don't want to penalize my parents for making what I
feel was the right decision at the time.

Maybe this is what [livejournal.com profile] msagara means about not blaming people.


It’s exactly what I meant )
msagara: (Default)
When I wrote my post on help, I had a second topic I wanted to address. As it happens, I wrote about a number of things in between, but I haven’t forgotten.

I’ve written about my oldest son in a number of posts. Everything in this post is only indirectly about my son. It is mostly about me, about my first year-and-a-half as a new parent, and about the evolution of love as an act of endurance.

On learning to love as a parent )
msagara: (Default)
I have written a lot about my older son, and very little about my younger son. This is in part because I didn’t start writing these posts until the oldest was old enough to give me what I felt was informed consent.

My youngest is not yet at that age, so most of this post will actually be about my oldest son. He was in senior kindergarten when his brother was born.

There’s a lot of anxiety when one is contemplating the advent of a second child. Most of it centers around the reaction of the first child. I’m going to assume that both parents are cognizant of the second child’s arrival, and that both parents have some say in it. I realize there are exceptions, but, that’s my general assumption for this post.

The other child, however, has no say. It’s not like we take him aside and consult with him, or ask his permission. He is going to have a sibling, regardless of how he feels. I have read in other places that for some children this is unwelcome and highly destabilizing - it would be akin to a husband telling his wife that today he has brought home a brand! new! wife! and his old wife is going to love! her!.

A few thoughts on the introduction of a second child into the ASD household. )
msagara: (Default)
My oldest son, who is the partial subject of so many of the posts about Aspergers and school, is now eighteen years old. By the standards of Canada, he is a legal adult. (I refer to this age as "the age at which we can legally kick you out of the house", which he finds amusing. Mostly.)

This is, in part, an open letter to my son.
A letter to my son on his eighteenth birthday )

ETA: in case it's not obvious from context, the long anonymous post is from my son :D

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Michelle Sagara

April 2015

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