Actually, her first post drove me -nuts-. It was the first thing posted that actively annoyed me <rueful g>. So while I consider my response to TJP to be pointed, I consider my response to her to be heated.
I will 'fess up, for those of you who only really see me at conventions when I'm trying really hard to mime social: I can be a bit overbearing. It's the napolean complex. I don't do it on purpose. Simone, the teenager with whom I work just calls it my 'scary face'. It is, unfortunately, the face that occurs when I think someone has just fallen below the lower boundary of human stupidity, and is still somehow ambulatory. Some people therefore find me intimidating.
Some people don't like to argue. I spent four years doing nothing but slightly free-form debating with the man I eventually married, and they were heated on both parts, but always on topic, and we were always forced to acknowledge logic, even when used successfully against us. I understand that many people aren't like this, and I don't insist on it.
But... it does mean that my form of stating facts clearly probably can be seen as bullying or brow-beating. In real life, I'm short enough that that's not always the way it's taken, and I try very hard not to do this among most of the women of my acquaintance who are not also writers.
And you know? I don't want to be the bully :/. It's a worthy thing to struggle against being. Curmudgeon, otoh, is right up there with worthy goals. I just have to make andpuff give me her secret Curmudgeon badge.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2004-06-29 08:40 am (UTC)I will 'fess up, for those of you who only really see me at conventions when I'm trying really hard to mime social: I can be a bit overbearing. It's the napolean complex. I don't do it on purpose. Simone, the teenager with whom I work just calls it my 'scary face'. It is, unfortunately, the face that occurs when I think someone has just fallen below the lower boundary of human stupidity, and is still somehow ambulatory.
Some people therefore find me intimidating.
Some people don't like to argue. I spent four years doing nothing but slightly free-form debating with the man I eventually married, and they were heated on both parts, but always on topic, and we were always forced to acknowledge logic, even when used successfully against us. I understand that many people aren't like this, and I don't insist on it.
But... it does mean that my form of stating facts clearly probably can be seen as bullying or brow-beating. In real life, I'm short enough that that's not always the way it's taken, and I try very hard not to do this among most of the women of my acquaintance who are not also writers.
And you know? I don't want to be the bully :/. It's a worthy thing to struggle against being. Curmudgeon, otoh, is right up there with worthy goals. I just have to make