It doesn't mean nervous to me, it means strongly or even painfully aware of yourself. In fact you just defined it.
Whereas when I'm online, I just yam what I yam. I can always clarify if someone asks. If they don't ask and still wonder, well, that's not my problem.
In person I worry more because I'm missing so much of what goes on around me. I never can be sure my response is appropriate. Many times people babble at me and I can't understand a word--but if I ask them to repeat, they get impatient or upset and/or it gets tedious to ask every few seconds. So I end up avoiding them. Some of the coolest people in sf are no-fly zones for me because they talk too fast or don't move their lips or have heavy beards.
So I'm more self-conscious in RL--of necessity. Online you may not get expressions and such, but I can tell you expressions aren't much good if all you hear of the words are distorted vowels.
Online life is a godsend for the hearing-impaired. In fact many of the deaf avoid it because it eliminates the difference that creates their culture. They aren't disabled online--and disability defines them.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2004-12-15 04:45 pm (UTC)Whereas when I'm online, I just yam what I yam. I can always clarify if someone asks. If they don't ask and still wonder, well, that's not my problem.
In person I worry more because I'm missing so much of what goes on around me. I never can be sure my response is appropriate. Many times people babble at me and I can't understand a word--but if I ask them to repeat, they get impatient or upset and/or it gets tedious to ask every few seconds. So I end up avoiding them. Some of the coolest people in sf are no-fly zones for me because they talk too fast or don't move their lips or have heavy beards.
So I'm more self-conscious in RL--of necessity. Online you may not get expressions and such, but I can tell you expressions aren't much good if all you hear of the words are distorted vowels.
Online life is a godsend for the hearing-impaired. In fact many of the deaf avoid it because it eliminates the difference that creates their culture. They aren't disabled online--and disability defines them.