I suspect we must all define these things differently, but for me, possession is no part of the equation: the concept of possession precludes love as I see it, possession arising out of obsession. My primary relationship has gradually evolved into what it is over very close to 25 years. Though we did not begin with sexual monogamy, we settled into it, and for us, it's worked out to be the best choice.
In my young days, the question of sex could derail a relationship that hadn't begun with friendship. A relationship that began with attraction very rarely turned into a non-sexual relationship. Friendship ones were easier to handle--and I still have many of those friendships, with male and female both. Some of those friendships are very intense (in fact two of the most intense and enduring are with men--both of these men married to other people. One of pushing thirty years, the other nearly twenty. And the nature of our relationship is fine with their respective spouses.)
I guess I want to say that communication seems to be the best road to balance, though emotional issues can be rocky road even when all have the best intentions. That's the volatile nature of emotion! But so far I have been pretty lucky to have tranquility in these matters. I cherish that.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2004-07-04 03:18 pm (UTC)In my young days, the question of sex could derail a relationship that hadn't begun with friendship. A relationship that began with attraction very rarely turned into a non-sexual relationship. Friendship ones were easier to handle--and I still have many of those friendships, with male and female both. Some of those friendships are very intense (in fact two of the most intense and enduring are with men--both of these men married to other people. One of pushing thirty years, the other nearly twenty. And the nature of our relationship is fine with their respective spouses.)
I guess I want to say that communication seems to be the best road to balance, though emotional issues can be rocky road even when all have the best intentions. That's the volatile nature of emotion! But so far I have been pretty lucky to have tranquility in these matters. I cherish that.