I think there is a male equivalent though I'm not sure that there is one word for it. Guys talk about making a rational choice when they talk about settling. They talk about objective criteria and about 'knowing what's out there' and who they can attract and her being a good choice. The framing is different because women talk about it in terms of once wanting the perfect love and now settling for less while men frame it as if love doesn't really come into and from the idea that once they wanted this accomplished goddess and are now settling for a flawed human being but I think the idea is very similar. Both conversations always bother me because I'm a proponent of appreciating the uniqueness of the particular person you're with but *shrug*.
I do think lots of guys don't talk about relationships because there is very strong social pressure on guys not to. Also, as men grow up with the idea that they're not supposed to have complex, confusing emotions they never acquire the vocabulary to talk about it which makes it more difficult to talk about it later as adults even if they find a good friend and wish to. I actually think the whole 'Men don't talk about that ' is a terribly destructive social norm.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2008-03-12 10:01 pm (UTC)I do think lots of guys don't talk about relationships because there is very strong social pressure on guys not to. Also, as men grow up with the idea that they're not supposed to have complex, confusing emotions they never acquire the vocabulary to talk about it which makes it more difficult to talk about it later as adults even if they find a good friend and wish to. I actually think the whole 'Men don't talk about that ' is a terribly destructive social norm.