but in Japan, that idea of asking someone for something they can't give being a burden on them is so completely self-evident that people don't really try to hide their sense of "oh you are burdening me by asking me this"
And if my last name doesn't give it away, guess what 2nd generation cultural context I was raised in? Although to be fair to my mother, she wanted us to be able to say no, and to be able to evaluate circumstances and respond to them negatively if that was what they required, and I am not a good example, in general terms, of the more typical Japanese reticence in large part because of my mother.
But no one is entirely free of their own upbringing, my mother included, and some of that will be passed on because it's the way things are done and it seems natural and reasonable to the parent.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2008-04-23 02:04 am (UTC)And if my last name doesn't give it away, guess what 2nd generation cultural context I was raised in? Although to be fair to my mother, she wanted us to be able to say no, and to be able to evaluate circumstances and respond to them negatively if that was what they required, and I am not a good example, in general terms, of the more typical Japanese reticence in large part because of my mother.
But no one is entirely free of their own upbringing, my mother included, and some of that will be passed on because it's the way things are done and it seems natural and reasonable to the parent.