As someone who's grown up with ASD, this is -- almost painfully familiar, actually. It's touching to see how refreshingly you're in touch with how your son views the world, and while I definitely don't identify with all of his thought patterns, many of them strike a pretty solid chord with me.
Your son's pretty blessed to have parents who understand him so well--don't get me wrong, my parents are also awesome, but they didn't even know what Asperger's was until I was 9 (they're older--my mom's close to 60), and they never got personal counsel afaik on how to deal with it, just sent me to a few cool therapists (is that the term? I didn't find out until I was 14 that there was something wrong with me, because they were afraid of making me scared, I just thought the--behavorial therapists-- were neat adults I played with). Um, so your points about parents from other groups "normalizing" their children out of love -- yeah. I get it. I can pass, I mean, as normal--partially due to mildness--but it definitely ... it's probably not the best choice.
Um, also, your comment about your son not realizing everyone didn't know what he knew made me laugh sheepishly, because I still deal with that. Er, not to his extent, of course. I am 21, I've grown up a bit :). But sometimes the lovely people who know my thought processes have to remind me. (I also tend to assume that if I have not been told relevant facts, and have not uncovered any during my research, they do not exist! Because if they existed, clearly someone would have told me, right...? :))
I'm really lucky that my Asperger's is pretty mild, though, and that my parents are now quite supportive of me as I sort through my muck. Don't get me wrong! I know that. But ... thank you for writing this, both for yourself and for other ASD parents out there. I keep tearing up a bit, and -- well, I wish it was the sort of thing my parents had been exposed to. I think it would have eased a lot of their worries to know other people went through this, and had advice, and I'm sure it's something that's a balm to other parents' hearts, too.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2010-10-17 11:58 am (UTC)As someone who's grown up with ASD, this is -- almost painfully familiar, actually. It's touching to see how refreshingly you're in touch with how your son views the world, and while I definitely don't identify with all of his thought patterns, many of them strike a pretty solid chord with me.
Your son's pretty blessed to have parents who understand him so well--don't get me wrong, my parents are also awesome, but they didn't even know what Asperger's was until I was 9 (they're older--my mom's close to 60), and they never got personal counsel afaik on how to deal with it, just sent me to a few cool therapists (is that the term? I didn't find out until I was 14 that there was something wrong with me, because they were afraid of making me scared, I just thought the--behavorial therapists-- were neat adults I played with). Um, so your points about parents from other groups "normalizing" their children out of love -- yeah. I get it. I can pass, I mean, as normal--partially due to mildness--but it definitely ... it's probably not the best choice.
Um, also, your comment about your son not realizing everyone didn't know what he knew made me laugh sheepishly, because I still deal with that. Er, not to his extent, of course. I am 21, I've grown up a bit :). But sometimes the lovely people who know my thought processes have to remind me. (I also tend to assume that if I have not been told relevant facts, and have not uncovered any during my research, they do not exist! Because if they existed, clearly someone would have told me, right...? :))
I'm really lucky that my Asperger's is pretty mild, though, and that my parents are now quite supportive of me as I sort through my muck. Don't get me wrong! I know that. But ... thank you for writing this, both for yourself and for other ASD parents out there. I keep tearing up a bit, and -- well, I wish it was the sort of thing my parents had been exposed to. I think it would have eased a lot of their worries to know other people went through this, and had advice, and I'm sure it's something that's a balm to other parents' hearts, too.
Thank you.