I said to him, "The world is not a fair place, and this can be very upsetting sometimes. But here's the thing: You can either add to the unfairness, or you can add to the fairness.
This is perfect, not only for ASD children, but for all children.
And this truly is an important concept in parenting. I never used the terms "good" and "bad" with my children. I never told them they were being a bad boy or girl, because in a young child's mind, "being bad" equals being a bad person. Until they reach a certain age, children can't separate their behavior from themselves or their self image.
Negative, inappropriate behavior had consequences equal to what they'd done. Positive behavior was rewarded. The behavior was always the focus, maybe because my ultimate goal as a parent was to raise compassionate people who contributed to society, each in his or her own way.
The psychology/child development major in me reads these posts and cheers. You are doing a good thing here, for all parents, not just parents of ASD children.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2010-10-25 05:53 pm (UTC)This is perfect, not only for ASD children, but for all children.
And this truly is an important concept in parenting. I never used the terms "good" and "bad" with my children. I never told them they were being a bad boy or girl, because in a young child's mind, "being bad" equals being a bad person. Until they reach a certain age, children can't separate their behavior from themselves or their self image.
Negative, inappropriate behavior had consequences equal to what they'd done. Positive behavior was rewarded. The behavior was always the focus, maybe because my ultimate goal as a parent was to raise compassionate people who contributed to society, each in his or her own way.
The psychology/child development major in me reads these posts and cheers. You are doing a good thing here, for all parents, not just parents of ASD children.