At one point we were getting frustrated, because the kid KNEW she was supposed to ask (permission or something) but seemed to have no concept of whether the adult being asked was in the room, or paying attention, or capable of understanding a whisper/mumble. Theory of mind? (You ever see that with your son?)
Until my son was four and a half, he did not acknowledge us when we came home from work (or anywhere else). We would still, of course, say hello and give him a hug, but unless he was specifically waiting for one of us to get home because he needed us to do something Right Now, he didn't turn, didn't say hello back, didn't smile.
He knew we were home. When we were leaving, we had to say good-bye; he also didn't acknowledge this. BUT, on the one day my mother insisted I leave without saying good-bye "because it's not like he notices it anyway" -- and I did, against my better judgement -- he ran to the door when it closed on me and then stood there screaming his lungs out for an hour. (And after that, my mother never, ever let me leave without telling him first, because she was the babysitter and had to try to console him for that hour). He was aware of both the good-bye and the hello; he understood on some level that it was his emotional due, if you will -- but connecting that to any response on his own part? Not so much.
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branchandroot
Re: I read this to understand younger kids
Date: 2011-05-28 07:43 pm (UTC)Until my son was four and a half, he did not acknowledge us when we came home from work (or anywhere else). We would still, of course, say hello and give him a hug, but unless he was specifically waiting for one of us to get home because he needed us to do something Right Now, he didn't turn, didn't say hello back, didn't smile.
He knew we were home. When we were leaving, we had to say good-bye; he also didn't acknowledge this. BUT, on the one day my mother insisted I leave without saying good-bye "because it's not like he notices it anyway" -- and I did, against my better judgement -- he ran to the door when it closed on me and then stood there screaming his lungs out for an hour. (And after that, my mother never, ever let me leave without telling him first, because she was the babysitter and had to try to console him for that hour). He was aware of both the good-bye and the hello; he understood on some level that it was his emotional due, if you will -- but connecting that to any response on his own part? Not so much.