I wish I had managed to negotiate the same issues as gracefully as this when my daughter came along. Though, since there was only a two-year gap between the two, I don't know how much understanding would have been possible no matter how much explaining I did. We found something akin to peace by getting the two children identical toys whenever possible; eldest child was much more philosophical about having little sister grab for HIS toy when he could simply get up and get the other, identical toy. It didn't work for everything, but since they only ever came to hitting once before little sister outgrew grabbing his toys, I think it worked well enough.
Interestingly, having a baby sister made my eldest much more verbal and social, if only out of sheer self-defense. He would explain to her patiently and repetitively until he felt she understood, often in the same words we used to him. "No, baby, we don't grab. We ask nicely." "No, baby, no hurting." By the time my youngest (not quite two years younger than his sister) was beginning to walk and talk, the older two were a firm team.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2012-06-10 04:37 am (UTC)Interestingly, having a baby sister made my eldest much more verbal and social, if only out of sheer self-defense. He would explain to her patiently and repetitively until he felt she understood, often in the same words we used to him. "No, baby, we don't grab. We ask nicely." "No, baby, no hurting." By the time my youngest (not quite two years younger than his sister) was beginning to walk and talk, the older two were a firm team.