I was an only child, and much beloved. I was a Daddy's girl when I was little, but later, when his health began to break down, it was my mother and I who joined forces. The three of us all loved each other and we got along. My parents were mostly always reasonable with me, always strove to explain their decisions in a way I could understand. Sometimes my parents fought, sometimes they fought with me, sometimes two of us would gang up on the third. They weren't any more perfect than any other parents and I was no more a perfect child than any other child. But our family worked and we enjoyed the good times and got through the bad ones together.
After I grew up, we all discovered bit by bit that we actually liked each other, quite apart from our familial relationship. They were proud of me, of the person I'd grown up to be, and I was proud of them. A lot of my friends dreaded introducing anybody to their parents, but for me it was always a joy. It was fun to have parents that were interesting in their own right, that I could introduce my friends to knowing that my friends would like them for who they were rather than just because they were my parents. And I genuinely looked forward to time spent with them--it was never a case of "having" to see them because they were my parents.
I don't know you or your sons, of course. But from what you've been writing here about your approach to parenting and your understanding of familial relationships, I have a feeling your children are going to grow up to feel about you and your husband the way I felt about my parents. And I can't think of anything better.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2012-06-28 05:42 am (UTC)After I grew up, we all discovered bit by bit that we actually liked each other, quite apart from our familial relationship. They were proud of me, of the person I'd grown up to be, and I was proud of them. A lot of my friends dreaded introducing anybody to their parents, but for me it was always a joy. It was fun to have parents that were interesting in their own right, that I could introduce my friends to knowing that my friends would like them for who they were rather than just because they were my parents. And I genuinely looked forward to time spent with them--it was never a case of "having" to see them because they were my parents.
I don't know you or your sons, of course. But from what you've been writing here about your approach to parenting and your understanding of familial relationships, I have a feeling your children are going to grow up to feel about you and your husband the way I felt about my parents. And I can't think of anything better.