Women over 30 don't ask what a man does for a living because they're thinking Can he provide for me? The older a woman is, the less likely that is her question, because unless she's living at home being supported by her parents, she has probably already figured out how to provide for herself.
I earn a good living, more than the national average. But I want to know if prospective beaus are employed, and how steadily, for the following reasons:
1. Does his job tell me something about who he is? A teacher, a plumber, a gardener, an emergency-room nurse-- A job does not define a person, but it's a reasonable starting point for follow-up questions.
2. If he's not dependably employed, why is that? Is he a writer who supports himself by bartending while trying to sell a novel? If so, does he pursue his art for real, or does he just fart around endlessly rewriting the first three chapters, and spend the rest of his time on the sofa in his underwear watching TV?
A mature woman knows what she hopes her life will be, and she doesn't have a lot of time to do the "we pursue our careers together" thing. A man who can support himself won't be a drag on the life she has spent the past decade-plus building for herself.
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branchandroot
Re: continued
Date: 2013-03-11 01:26 am (UTC)I earn a good living, more than the national average. But I want to know if prospective beaus are employed, and how steadily, for the following reasons:
1. Does his job tell me something about who he is? A teacher, a plumber, a gardener, an emergency-room nurse-- A job does not define a person, but it's a reasonable starting point for follow-up questions.
2. If he's not dependably employed, why is that? Is he a writer who supports himself by bartending while trying to sell a novel? If so, does he pursue his art for real, or does he just fart around endlessly rewriting the first three chapters, and spend the rest of his time on the sofa in his underwear watching TV?
A mature woman knows what she hopes her life will be, and she doesn't have a lot of time to do the "we pursue our careers together" thing. A man who can support himself won't be a drag on the life she has spent the past decade-plus building for herself.