When I was in high school (early '90's), all my friends were online - I was way beyond shy, except when I was online. I met some of these people on a couple of occasions, but it was mostly online-only.
During college, I developed RL friendships, and lost touch with most of those online people (this will happen when you go to school in the middle of nowhere and have no 'net access for two years).
Those people I knew during my HS years were absolutely my best friends, partly because I literally had no one else. My socialization process changed in college, and so now my definitions are different. I do believe that it's possible to be good friends with someone online-only, given the right circumstances, but I suspect it's always preferable to meet someone in person. Nowadays, it's harder, I think, to be friends online-only because people are more aware of how easy it is to deceive in the online world.
That said, I still communicate with one person from my HS days. At one time, she was one of my best friends. I still consider her a very good friend. I met her once, right before college, and then lost touch for several years, and almost didn't recognize the person I knew when we reconnected. (I'm not sure how much she recognized me, either, to be perfectly honest) But we learned or relearned each other again, and now I simply call her "my oldest friend."
I don't know that meeting her changed our relationship; if I hadn't immediately fallen off the face of the planet, things might have been different, who knows? At this point, I remember very little about that meeting to give me any substance - it was eleven years ago. I don't think that not meeting some of the others made any difference - the associations I had online at that point revolved around very specific topics, and without the shared connections, we often had little in common.
It's a different forum, with different rules. I suspect age does play some part - I am significantly more comfortable with the concept of online relationships than others I know, simply because I started earlier. I suspect that the kids coming up today will, in great part, be comfortable with online-based relationships because the concept is not alien to them, the way it is to people even my own age who are just starting to find their way to the 'net.
Um, that was long and babbly and possibly incoherent. Will stop now.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2004-12-14 06:06 pm (UTC)During college, I developed RL friendships, and lost touch with most of those online people (this will happen when you go to school in the middle of nowhere and have no 'net access for two years).
Those people I knew during my HS years were absolutely my best friends, partly because I literally had no one else. My socialization process changed in college, and so now my definitions are different. I do believe that it's possible to be good friends with someone online-only, given the right circumstances, but I suspect it's always preferable to meet someone in person. Nowadays, it's harder, I think, to be friends online-only because people are more aware of how easy it is to deceive in the online world.
That said, I still communicate with one person from my HS days. At one time, she was one of my best friends. I still consider her a very good friend. I met her once, right before college, and then lost touch for several years, and almost didn't recognize the person I knew when we reconnected. (I'm not sure how much she recognized me, either, to be perfectly honest) But we learned or relearned each other again, and now I simply call her "my oldest friend."
I don't know that meeting her changed our relationship; if I hadn't immediately fallen off the face of the planet, things might have been different, who knows? At this point, I remember very little about that meeting to give me any substance - it was eleven years ago. I don't think that not meeting some of the others made any difference - the associations I had online at that point revolved around very specific topics, and without the shared connections, we often had little in common.
It's a different forum, with different rules. I suspect age does play some part - I am significantly more comfortable with the concept of online relationships than others I know, simply because I started earlier. I suspect that the kids coming up today will, in great part, be comfortable with online-based relationships because the concept is not alien to them, the way it is to people even my own age who are just starting to find their way to the 'net.
Um, that was long and babbly and possibly incoherent. Will stop now.