But... as their friend, there are things that you shouldn't ask of them.
How right you are, and I'm usually more sensitive to that sort of thing. I think I blanked out while reading that part of the article (or had a failure of empathy, which also happens more than I'd like).
Which implies that in some way, I do consider the male version of this to be said betrayal.
If I were to guess at the cause of this (and by "guess" I mean "extrapolate from my own feelings onto the whole of the human race/western culture"--which I'm pretty sure is why the internet was invented) I'd blame it on the feeling of power imbalance in the relationship. A husband's willingness to say nasty things about his wife tickles the "this guy is cruel to his wife" nerve. What husband wants to be that dude?
Along with that is the idea that the husband is supposed to protect his wife. Not just by, you know, not publicly attacking her, but by not spreading information that give other people cause to gossip.
Going the other way, when a wife gripes about her husband, it's not as terrible because her words are not as threatening. Power imbalance.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2008-03-19 05:09 pm (UTC)How right you are, and I'm usually more sensitive to that sort of thing. I think I blanked out while reading that part of the article (or had a failure of empathy, which also happens more than I'd like).
Which implies that in some way, I do consider the male version of this to be said betrayal.
If I were to guess at the cause of this (and by "guess" I mean "extrapolate from my own feelings onto the whole of the human race/western culture"--which I'm pretty sure is why the internet was invented) I'd blame it on the feeling of power imbalance in the relationship. A husband's willingness to say nasty things about his wife tickles the "this guy is cruel to his wife" nerve. What husband wants to be that dude?
Along with that is the idea that the husband is supposed to protect his wife. Not just by, you know, not publicly attacking her, but by not spreading information that give other people cause to gossip.
Going the other way, when a wife gripes about her husband, it's not as terrible because her words are not as threatening. Power imbalance.
Probably I'm just full of crap, though.